Day 213 (February 1st, 2011)
*** COMMUNITY WARNING ***
This is a alert for all communities! There is a new organized crime force that has infiltrated nearly all of suburban America (and parts of Canada as well)! These gangs travel in packs of 2-3 and a 'heavy' (armed backup, nicknamed "Mother") is usually close by. They attack without warning, with no care for age or gender. Their attacks are quick, precise and brutal. Very few survivors make it away without damage. There is no safe location - they attack on street corners, near stores, even in front of law enforcement agents - they have no fear. My only suggestion would be, when approached by one of the mafia, scream loudly, spray them with pepper-spray and run for your life. It is unlikely you will survive.
There is no escape from the Girl Scout Mafia.
*** END COMMUNITY WARNING ***